Sexist behaviors can happen in lots of places. You can see them at work, at school, on the street, and other places. Unfortunately, the bedroom is no exception. A sexist man will show this personality in all aspects of his life, including sex.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary definition has two parts:
- Prejudice or discrimination based on sex, especially discrimination against women.
- Behavior, conditions or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex.
According to both definitions, it’s a way of thinking, acting and behaving that’s based on the belief that the man is superior and should always be more important.
So, sexist behavior isn’t just going to happen in one part of life. In fact, we can see it in work, family, society, art, and even legislation. Sometimes, it’s so subtle we might not even notice it.
Therefore, sex isn’t an exception. If a man is sexist, he will be like that in intimate relationships as well. This means that, even during sex, he will show this sexist behavior.
However, just like we shouldn’t tolerate it anywhere else, we shouldn’t tolerate this behavior during sex. How can we identify them? What are the sexist behavior patterns during sex that we shouldn’t tolerate?
Some sexism during sex
Believing “no” actually means “yes”
Let’s start with the most basic one: thinking that “no” doesn’t mean “no.” Some men think that “no” actually means “yes.” In other words, if you insist, in the end the woman will give in.
It’s a truly widespread belief that many people still believe, even today. Some blogs even say things like, “women are just like that” and that they like to “make things difficult” where in reality, they want it. In fact, you can even see scenes like this in movies.
Well, it’s time to make it clear that “no” means “no” and nothing more than “no”. Period.
Sex is sharing, and it’s enjoying time together that both people need to fully consent to. So, if one of them says no, there shouldn’t be sex. Sex should never be forced, either physically or psychologically.
Even if there are passionate and hot kisses and things seem to be heading towards the bed, and then, at the last moment you don’t want to, then you don’t have to. No one can make you, and you shouldn’t feel compelled. Similarly, no one has the right to call you certain things for not having sex with them.
“I don’t wear condoms”
Another of the classic sexist behaviors is that the man refuses to wear a condom. He might even use the classic phrase “I’m clean.” Even better, he might say “If you want, you can use something.”
This type of macho attitude shows the arrogance of the man who thinks that any consequence of sex (like sexually transmitted infections, for example) isn’t his responsibility. On the other hand, it’s the woman’s job. So, any consequence of sex is the woman’s fault.
Well, that’s not true. Sex is an activity where two people participate and two people are responsible. Neither is more responsible than the other. Therefore, you have the right to ask for protection and for the other person to also take responsibility. Of course, you don’t have to accept any type of sexual relationship without adequate protection.
Only women give oral sex
Of course, for a macho man, sex revolves around his pleasure, and the woman’s pleasure is an afterthought. For this reason, a sexist man will normally refuse to perform oral sex on his partner, but will want it to be done on him.
S0, these men tend to forget that women also need stimulation, and that they also have preferences and needs. They forget that not everything is about male intercourse or orgasm. In fact, for many chauvinistic men, once he orgasms, he thinks sex is over.
Well, no. Sex is much more than that. Sex has foreplay, which includes things like kissing, touching, fondling, etc. It should be satisfying for both of you and not just one. Both of you should enjoy it.
Oral sex is important for women so they can enjoy clitoral orgasms. However, sexist men will think it’s a “waste of time” or even “degrading.”
Sexist behaviors during sex tend to see women as objects for men’s pleasure. To them, your fantasies and desires don’t count. Sex begins with and ends with the male, aiming at his satisfaction.
On the other hand, we need to keep in mind that, unfortunately, not only is this ingrained in some men’s brains, but it also has serious consequences for women. Often, women think if they don’t give in, they won’t be pleasing their man.
Therefore, we need to be aware that it’s important for women to be assertive. Also, we need to understand that sex takes two, and it needs to be enjoyable for both people.