Sex is a fundamental part of romantic relationships. Therefore, a lack of sexual desire can be a serious problem and the cause of other conflicts. While they may seem unrelated, a lack of empathy and affinity can be some of the consequences. Today, we’ll look at the issue of low sex drive and its impact on relationships.
Low sex drive is a much more common problem than most people realize. That’s because most couples keep it behind closed doors. In fact, a recent study revealed that 36% of women and 31% of men experience low sex drive, which typically increases after the age of 40.
This problem is commonly reflected in married couples. “The classic patient says she was having sex before marriage and at the beginning of her marriage, but after a few years, for no reason, she no longer desired sex at all,” explains Dr. Bruce Carr of the University of Texas.
Low sex drive not only affects those that experience it but also their partners. That’s because their sexual desires go unsatisfied, they feel rejected, and the issue can even lower their self-esteem.
What causes low sex drive?
Low sex drive can be the result of both physical and psychological factors. The stress of modern life harms sexual relations. For that reason, the main causes of low sex drive are depression and fatigue.
Resentment is another cause of low libido. You may anger towards your partners about a disagreement or because he or she is too controlling, passive, or inattentive to your needs, etc. These kinds of issues can reduce sexual attraction and, therefore, sexual desire.
Past trauma, such as being the victim of sexual abuse or other negative experiences from the past can also be an obstacle. They resurface – whether consciously or unconsciously – and reduce our sex drive without our even realizing it.
Among the physical explanations behind low sex drive, we can mention several. For example, male impotence, pain in the genital region from infections, injury, low endocrine levels, as well as other factors. In these cases, a lack of sexual desire isn’t just a relationship issue, it’s also a health issue.
So, it’s best to turn to your doctor to get the treatment you need.
Lack of Sexual Desire and its impact on relationships
Sex plays an important role in a couple’s relationship. Feelings towards one another, as well as about oneself, depend greatly on sex. Even in older couples, sex is a way of sharing, being intimate, and enjoying one another.
Some people may believe that sex is bad and that they can build a relationship based on other activities they share with their partner. It’s true that if both partners feel the same way and establish a sincere agreement, then it might work out. However, dialogue and communication are fundamental when it comes to looking for solutions together.
Some may also believe that they’re just fine without sex. However, when they look back, they remember that sex was something they once enjoyed… It was something that brought them and their partner together.
With this in mind, it’s easy to realize how important sex is for a healthy relationship. The daily dynamics between partners improve when they enjoy an active and satisfying sex life.
What to do to overcome low sexual drive and its impact
Talk with your doctor – If you know or suspect that there’s a physical cause – like pain or impotence – it’s always best to rule out any illness. As we’ve said, some physical problems that play an significant role in libido. Therefore, a medical evaluation will allow you to rule out or address these possibilities.
Talk with your partner about low sex drive and its impact – Communicate your needs to your partner and ask him or her to do the same. Talk openly about failures and expectations and try to find a solution together.
Make a commitment to work towards improving your relationship can be the best solution to any problem.
Go to therapy – The help of a third party, especially a professional, can be very helpful. Seeing a therapist as a couple or individually can help you determine the causes behind low sex drive and revive your relationship.
Seek out moments of intimacy with your partner – Sometimes the hardest thing to do is take the first step. The path of abstinence is comfortable but dangerous. Caress your partners, look for points of attraction, try to lovingly force a return to those moments of intimacy.
Try new things – If a low sex drive is caused by boredom, then you can try to explore new positions or experiment with unmet sexual fantasies. Discover new sexual interests together to gain extra motivation.
Break away from fear to overcome a low sex drive – If you’ve gone a long time without having sex with your partner, you may feel afraid to approach him or her. Sex may seem strange and foreign.
If that’s true, take things slowly. Caress one another, touch each other… Penetration may feel like too much, but you can masturbate mutually the first few times before going all the way.
Low Sex Drive: One final piece of advice
If you’re lacking sexual activity in your relationship, then there are probably other issues going on, as well. You may get along on a personal level, but don’t share other things in life that are normal for couples.
Set a date to go out for dinner or to dance. Plan activities that you used to share in the past. Recovering the things, you’ve lost and enjoying them together will help to restore sexual attraction and desire.